Chapter 15
Rebuilding
We scheduled rehearsals with Steve Curtsinger immediately when we returned from
Germany. We would move our rehearsal to Troy's newly built home. Jerry called me
the day of the first rehearsal and was deathly ill. It seemed that he had shook
off the flu from Germany but contracted a stomach virus when he returned. I now
was fighting the flu but we were still going to rehearse. We had shows right
around the corner and we had to be prepared. At this time I sent my solo project
away to be pressed and I was looking forward to getting it back in time to sell
at the Bride shows.
April 9th we headed out for Hannibal Missouri, to do a single show. Everything
felt a little awkward like there was a peace instead of the unrest that was
normally felt. Steve rode in the second van with Jerry, Vince and Pam (Jerry's
wife) so I was not able to get a full picture of how things were working. I
could tell though that Jerry was still trying to adjust. We had got a late Start
because one of the vans had broke down before we left the driveway. We had to
wait an hour for another van to arrive. It was about a 7-hour haul. When we
arrived the P.A. was still being hooked up. I was sitting talking with the
soundman when I saw Vince who was standing on the stage reach out toward Steve's
amp, which had a broken wheel. The amp began to rock and then tilted over. I
jumped from my seat to try to catch it. I barley got my fingertips on it but my
foot was directly under it. The amp smashed three toes on my right foot. I could
not just jerk my foot out I had to lift the amp up to get my foot out. I
returned to my seat afraid to look at it because the toes felt broke. Only the
promoter knew that the amp had caught my foot. I guess since that I had not
screamed or made any sound everyone supposed the amp had missed me. I went down
stairs into the dressing room and took a look. Even though it felt like I had
broke some toes and the swelling was bad, I figured it was not broke. It had
turned blue and purple almost immediately and we were about an hour away from
starting the show. I put some ice on it up to show time but it did not seem to
help. The show went on with me standing stationary most of the night. Steve's
performance was excellent. I guess Troy and myself had more trouble than anyone.
Troy was still plagued by the flu and with me doing my peg leg pirate routine I
am sure we looked beaten. We then had shows in Lynchburg VA, Olathe Ks, and one
of our favorite places The Warehouse in Bartlesville Ok. Steve was being broken
in quickly. We had only rehearsed three times before our first show and now we
were playing nearly every weekend. He had played more shows with us in the first
month than he had played with Killed By Cain the whole time they had been
together.
April 22, 1994 President Nixon died. I had been a big fan of his probably
because I was raised as a Republican. The following day Troy moved out of our
parent's house to his new home. It was really weird that Troy was moving. He had
worked on his house for months and I seldom saw him other than to do shows or
rehearsals during this period of time. Loading the moving truck with all of his
personal things was just a part of things changing. When you are kids, you just
do not think about growing up. I guess when I got married Troy probably felt a
little strange like things were changing. Then too with Nixon dying it was like
the pages were turning away from my youth and I began to ponder questions about
the future. The future of Bride, the future of my family. I had always thought
about aging and even though only being thirty years old I was looking much
further ahead. At this point in the Bride legacy, I was praying for God's
direction because I knew within myself that Bride could not and should not do
another metal record. I felt like I had said it all with Snakes and Scarecrow
and I felt like the direction of the band rested upon my shoulders as an artist.
Bride was capable of playing any type of music but I wanted to break new ground.
How were we going to do it? All I knew is we should continue playing shows
because we had a strong following and we were being effective as a ministry in
winning souls.
I had saw an interview with the Rev. Billy Graham where he had said that he had
considered himself a failure. If Billy Graham could say that then what did that,
make me? I wanted to do more and in order to achieve the vision that I had; I
was awakened to the reality the band would soon have to change.
GMA week approached and Troy and I were invited to the song writers showcase. We
were asked to play "Would you die for me." Other artist included, Charlie
Peacock, Steven Curtis Chapman, Margaret Becker, Wes King and our good friends
Guardian. On our way to Nashville to participate in this festive event, our
rental car broke down in Elizabeth town. Sharon and Michelle who were with us
decided we should eat lunch while we waited for the 2nd Lincoln to be delivered
to us by Budget. After about a hour of waiting the car arrived and we drove on
without delay to Nashville. Troy and performed and we decided not to wait around
for pictures so we left before the event ended. On the way, home we ran into
more car trouble. Fifteen minutes out of Nashville we stopped for gas I handed
the car keys to Sharon, who accidentally locked them in the car. After a
two-hour wait for a locksmith to arrive and break into the car we drove the
seemingly never ending drive home. We arrived at home about 4:30 am to find a
note from the baby sitter which read Greg Martin will be coming up to write some
songs at about 3 p.m. I only got 3 hours of sleep.
Greg and I had talked for a long time about getting together and writing some
tunes. He knew his living came from the Kentucky HeadHunters but Greg really
wanted to write some Christian songs. Greg arrived just a few minutes late and
after a coke and conversation we tried out some tunes. Greg was playing a Martin
box guitar and from the start, we caught a vibe and two songs began taking
shape. Troy came in about an hour and a half into the rehearsal and Greg asked
him to bring over a guitar. Within about 3 hours of Troy's arrival we had worked
on and created several tunes that had potential. I was thinking that maybe this
was the change we needed. Greg's busy schedule with the HeadHunters would
prohibit us from getting together very often but we had began something. We
nicknamed the band Dixie Highway in honor of a famous highway that ran by my
house. I was hoping something would transpire out of this practice but time
would tell. The songs that we had worked on were very blues oriented and exactly
what I was hoping for. Troy and I had not sat down with anyone like this in
years to
combine ideals and we both agreed that it felt very refreshing.
On with the show
1994 brought us our third Dove trophy. Psychedelic Super Jesus won the recorded
metal song of the year. We all were less enthusiastic about the win seeing that
the two previous awards did not open any new doors for us. 1994 also reunited us
with Michael Sweet and The NewsBoys at the Agape festival in Greenville
Illinois. It was great to see Michael again he had been a real brother in the
past and he seemed really happy to see us. His set was one of the very few I had
watched in a long time. I thought his new band was tighter than the old Stryper
and that he never sounded better. We would see him again the following week in
Dayton TN at the Strawberry Festival.
My solo record was now in full stride and there was mixed reactions from the
fans. I think it was so off the wall that they needed to get used to it.
Troy and I had finally got a meeting set up to speak to Peter York of Sparrow.
Steve Baker met us in Nashville at Sparrows offices and after a short wait; we
entered into Peter's office. We sat through a history of Sparrow and heard much
of what we had already heard from other record companies. Peter did not convince
us that he was excited about the prospects of landing us. I think he would have
loved to have us on his label however he did not say anything that would make me
want to sign a contract with them. Troy and I both had the same feelings. John
and Dino were on our minds. They were the only two that we had talked with that
truly seemed excited about having the band. All they wanted from us was a
one-page contract laying out the blue print for a production project that they
would shop for us. Steve was not against the idea but he warned that we should
really pray about it. I could not have agreed more. There was no one at this
point in the Christian community that I felt had Bride in their best interest.
Everyone seemed to be greedy and only thinking of themselves. I prayed that the
Lord would show me the way.
Steve our new bassist was still trying to adjust to the Bride routine and he
said he felt really blessed to be a part. Jerry was still trying to get used to
the fact that Rik was gone. He did not bond quickly with Steve and this worried
me. I needed a band that felt as one and now we seemed to be playing as well as
ever but there was a confidence factor that was missing. There was an edge of
confidence missing that I hoped would return soon. It was not anything to do
with Steve's ability as dedication as a member but rather that Rik had been such
a presence on and off stage. The fans did not seem to miss the giant but the
bands aggression and vibe had lightened. May the 15th in Dayton Tennessee at the
Strawberry Festival we experienced our first rain out since we had been a band.
It had rained on us in the past at out door shows but this time it really
rained. The stage was right next to a lake that was over flowing. The whether
reports were calling for electrical storms. Upon little persuasion from the
promoter, the sound, and light company who had lost a P.A. system to rain the
day before called it quits. It was going to be another show with Michael Sweet
but it was cancelled. We had fellowship at the hotel then later that evening at
a restaurant called Bubba's. Bubba's was a small family type restaurant in the
heart of Dayton. They served everything from seafood to ribs to chicken to
alligator. I could not pass up the opportunity to try some gator. I had ate
snails in Florida crawdads in Louisiana now gator in Tennessee. I would have to
say that every neighborhood needs a restaurant like Bubba's.
More production delays with "Scarecrow" was now threatening to push the release
further back. Troy and devised another plan to bring in revenue plus please the
fans. We decided to assemble a twenty song Matrix CD. Since Matrix was only
available in the past on cassette, we figured the fans would appreciate a CD. I
personally handled the arrangements and processing and we were racing the clock
to have them by Cornerstone Festival. Our next date was a fly date into Canada
and we were sure this was going to be lots of fun getting into the country, we
were Bride.
Scarecrow Messiah
My solo project was selling well and I even sent it out to the metal radio
stations to try to pull some airplay. I got favorable response and even a call
from Dig Hay Zoose saying how much they liked the project.
The first single Beast from "Scarecrow Messiah" arrived to me in the mail from
Star Song June 10th and it was great knowing that the record would soon follow.
With a release date of June 16th, it would still not be soon enough for the
hundreds of Bride fans that had written and phoned. This was the first record we
had recorded that I listened to at least once a week for the first couple of
months. Deep in my heart I did not feel that it would do any better sales wise
than Snakes had done but I felt more gratified with the overall performance of
the band and the songs. I do not know if it was because the record had been so
long in coming or if I just, liked it that much more. One thing for sure I knew
I would be ecstatic once I was holding the finished CD in my hands.
Bill Reed claimed to be waiting for the release of the record to began his
sweeping tour plans of the country with Bride. Steve Baker was now off the road
from PFR and promised he would concentrate heavily upon getting the band a new
record deal. Peter York of Sparrow had called Steve and had passed on signing
us. He told Steve that he honestly did believe in the band however Sparrow was
running over the rim with artist and they just did not have any more room. He
suggested taking the band to Reunion records. I really did not want to get
hooked up with another Christian record company but I was willing to listen to
best offers. I felt like we had already gave it a good run with Star Song and I
just did not feel that any of the Christian labels would know what to do with
us. Michael Sweet was having good success with Benson "so it seemed" but I knew
that not even Benson could handle Bride. Steve and Bill both partly placed the
blame for Bride's stand still on Troy who still held down his day job. They felt
that if they could free Troy up and cut him loose from the government that they
could really go to war for us.
Oddly enough my solo project felt so good to me that I was more interested in
recouping my expenses with that and beginning another one. Bride seemed a little
distant from me during this period of time. We were still playing almost every
weekend. We were on the cover and featured in the currant issue of Heaven's
Metal. The mail was coming in more than ever and we had our best album to date
about to bust out of the shoot. I called Scarecrow the most highly anticipated
record of 1994. There were so many rumors floating around about it and the
release delays that I figured that even non-Bride fans would buy it out of
curiosity. Even though to the public's eye it looked like Bride was at it's
height of popularity I personally had lost interest and felt like I was just
going through the motions. I had always said when it stopped being fun I would
quit and now there was that debate going through my mind and prayers. My
greatest satisfaction had come in the form of a self-financed and self produced
project called "Speak into the Machine" and my creative juices were flowing like
Picasso planning my next abstraction musically. I had always said that it is
foolish to disband or break up a successful band when you can always record and
sell records to the fans. Bride was responsible for ministering to a lot of
people. Many people depended on our obedience as writers and musicians to the
faith to deliver records for their edification.
My lyrics had been applied to many a life struggling with life's questions. I
was usually the last hope of the people who wrote for advice or counseling. I
knew my work in Bride went way beyond that of a singer in a band. I held the
weak together at times as they searched their souls through the lyrics printed
on the inserts. There was something I needed to do though, that thing was
another solo project. A more in depth piece of work that would surpass anything
that I was capable of in the past. I had been seeking the Lord for ideals lyrics
and concepts and I was getting close. I now needed the finances to make it
happen. I felt that there was a market and a hunger for what I was blueprinting.
Bride was easy. Troy and I had done it for so long that putting together Bride
record took little effort. I was so used to working with Troy as a team that
working alone was frightening but yet tantalizing. I desperately was looking for
a challenge. The fear of failure was my motivation. To do a project so far left
of what Bride was or even so much different than Speak into the Machine and have
it reach people who had sought after music in this vain would be wonderful. I
felt like "Speak into the Machine" had spoke to people in a way that they had
not been spoken to before. Now I wanted to reach the masses of people who
thought that Tom Waits or Pink Floyd had hung the moon.
I really enjoyed playing in Bride and listening once in a while to our music.
The live performances were the high points. On the contradictory side of things,
I did not like the bands that we were compared to. Zeppelin was the only band
that we were ever compared to that I was honored to fall into the same sentence.
To do three or four more Bride records on a Christian label would make no sense
what so ever. We would become stale even to our fans and I believed we would
become robots as musicians. Bride's future rested in the decisions that we would
make in the near future upon the advice and counsel that Steve Baker would
deliver to us after knocking on a few doors in the industry. No one in Bride
wanted to be doing the same type of shows, in the same small towns, for the same
number of people a year from now. My prayers were for God's will but also for a
clear direction. We had a couple of weeks off before the Cornerstone festival.
Sharon and I decided to take a much-needed vacation away from the kids and the
band. We planned our trip for Vegas and Sharon was eagerly awaiting our
departure. I was going to try to go a week without writing a lyric, try to go a
few nights in a row with a good sleep and not waking in the middle of the night
with a new song ringing in my mind. Some nights I could hear the music like a
radio at it's lowest volume. I physical, mentally and spiritually needed to come
in off the battlefield for a week. I had been bruised for a long time and like a
prizefighter that was standing only because of the size of his heart, I needed
to sit and heal. I would be
better at war if I could regroup.